Day 84: Eat Mor Chikin, Just Not Today

All I wanted today was a nice chicken sandwich combo meal from Chick Fil A. But when I went out to the nearest Chick Fil A, I saw that it was closed. And you know why? Because of this "God" person that they celebrate. Well, if I knew this "God" person, I really doubt he would be happy with the fact that this restaurant is ruthlessly and mercilessly withholding scrumptious chicken sandwiches from its loyal customers one day each week. In fact, I bet he'd be pissed. He'd probably smite them, if that were the kind of thing he did. I know I would.

But back to the story - no Chick Fil A. Not today, at least.


I was devastated. I couldn't believe it. It really made me want to just go ahead and kill myself, right then and there.

Ha, just kidding! It would take a lot more than that for me to do something like that! I mean - you know, a lot more than why I'm doing it in a few months instead of just getting it over with now. Which, I guess would be for nothing, and no reason, respectively.

Whoo. That just hurt my head a little. I think I've got to go lie down for a while.

Toodles!

Day 85: Stop: Hammer Time!

You know, I just wanted to come on here as an anonymous person, pretend like I was going to commit suicide, and then stop posting in my online, public journal when the day came for me to pretend to do the deed. That's all.

A little privacy in a public world on the interwebs is all I wanted. Is that too much to ask?

I mean, really. I post a blog every day on a public page that anyone can read. Sure, I can set it to private. I can moderate who reads it and who doesn't, I could have it private if I want to.....but it's the principle of the matter. Realizing that people are actually reading this has given me a lot to think about. What really frustrates me, though, is it is drawing some of my thoughts off of myself, and it's actually making me think of other people. Well, I will tell you this...it's one thing for me to decide, on my own, to maybe think of other people now and then, but it's a completely different story to have other people make me think of someone other than myself.

So I ask, WHAT'S A GIRL GOT TO DO TO GET SOME PRIVACY AROUND HERE?????

I know, some of you may say, why don't you set your blog to private? Ask yourself this, though, Mr and Miss McSmarty-Pants - if I did that, then how would I get people to pay attention to me?

Ya, got no answers for that, do ya?

Well, why don't you just think about that for a while, and I'll see ya tomorrow.

Day 86: Picking out Melons

So, I decided that, since I will be living my life for the me every day, I would set out today to go shopping for some new tits!


I went walking around today, checking things out - and yes, by things, I mean ladies boobies - taking pictures, feeling around.....you know, just trying to find the right fit for me.


Well, let me tell you one thing - no wait, make that two....get it? Anyway, walking around staring at boobs and taking pictures all day can really make a girl tired. And...I could have done all my shopping when I got home.

That's where I got these pix from, anyway.


Once I got home and started searching around for a decent set of knockers on the net, I decided to check out the starlets. I mean, if you're going to go for quality, then you may as well look to the stars.

Am I right, or what?

I know what some of you are thinking....what is the deal with the tit shots every couple of lines? Or rather, I'm sure what most of you are thinking is, why are all those letters getting in the way of the titties?!!?


Well, duh. This is my completely gratuitous skin shot blog. I mean, everyone's doing it, and we all know that sex sells.


Uh. Not that I'm trying to sell anything. Or whatever.


Anyway, I decided to go with what I call "The Scarlett," after a certain starlet that will remain unnamed....and I'm sure you can't figure it out with the vagueness of the name, either. I'll give you one hint, though. She claims they are real. Mine wouldn't be.


Well, okay. So that was two hints.


Anyway I guess I better get going. Gotta go rest up for the surgery. Besides, Valentine's Day is coming up, and what would be more predictable..I mean exciting than if someone new would ask me out for Valentine's Day?


That's right.

Day 87: The Epiphany

I was out eating breakfast today, thinking about how awesome, unique, individual and soon-to-be trendy my idea of doing this blog was, when my thoughts were interrupted by the conversation from the table next to me. Apparently, they had visited a Greek Restaurant recently and have vowed never to go back. It was creepy, and the staff was weird, or so it goes. One girl was going on and on about how the waiter, an older man (Imagine that!) kept talking to them, sitting down at their table with them, urging wine, etc. As she kept going on about a obviously very traditional Greek Restaurant and how the behavior was just too weird, I was sitting there thinking, what a stupid bitch. Does she not know the culture of the type of restaurant she went to? Is she really going into their restaurant and spitting on their culture like that? What did she expect? That it would be like dining at Chili's, except with gyros?



I couldn't believe what I was hearing from this idiot. I just wanted to call her out for the moron that she was....and then I thought, 'well, why don't I?' I am going to be dead in a few months - I have nothing to lose. In fact, I should just live out the rest of these days doing, acting and feeling exactly how I want. It was around this point that the girl, in reference to her Greek dining experience, says, "who does that?"

"GREEKS?!?!" I yelled out at her. She suddenly turned to me with this look of half who the fuck do you think you are and half scared astonishment, but said nothing. So I went on.

"What did you expect? That's how that culture is. They're very familiar and family-oriented. That's who does that. Greeks. How about, instead of shitting all over their culture, you just say that it wasn't for you and leave it at that?"

Well, let me tell you one thing. People do not expect to be put in their place on a typical day. She just sat there, kinda stuttering, 'well, uh, i, uh,' as she started blushing profusely. Her friends had on equally startling faces and grimaces at this point, and then one of them started in, 'well I just tried out this new Thai restaurant down the street that's so good, guys,' and with that, the girls kinda turned back to their own table and conversation, and proceeded with caution.

I loved it. It made me feel alive. It made me realize that this, this openness and freedom, this was how I want to go out.

Opa!

Day 88: Hump and Bump Day

You know, I've had such weird thoughts going through my mind since the decision was made yesterday to end this life as I know it in a few short months. Your mind just suddenly becomes alive, ironically, for the first time in your life as soon as you know your life will soon be over.

At least I have the luxury of knowing, right?

So anyway, my thoughts soon turned to my family. Of course - my family. They're all still alive and kicking. I hadn't even given it a single thought; not one single thought as to how my family would be affected by this arbitrary decision that I just pulled out of my ass a few days ago. How would they react? My parents - the ones who brought me into this world and cared for me throughout my early years. How would they feel when the daughter they sacrificed so much for just decided to errantly end her life? I began thinking about my mother, specifically, knowing that she had - a few years back - dealt with the suicide of a close friend. She would visit the friend's mom to try to find comfort in the incident, but the mom had lost touch of reality completely. I recall how people around her kept hoping and wishing that she would pull through, not really understanding the stigma around what she was facing.

She ended up getting over it, I guess. She still lives in the psychiatric facility that she was checked into 5 years ago, though.



But hey - this isn't about my family. It's about me.

So, I've decided that, moving forward, I will no longer have those negative thoughts about how it may affect others. I've made the decision - it's all for and about me, and for and about nobody else.

It's so amazing how one can be so pragmatic and practical about decisions once they've freed their minds of the burdens of life.

This is going to be fun, guys! Hold on tight!

Day 89: Banner Day, Guys!

Well, so today's the big day. Ha, I guess not the "big" day, so to speak, that one is still almost 3 months away. Today is the day I start my countdown. And why not today? It's Super Tuesday - AND Fat Tuesday. I guess you could say it's Super Fat Tuesday. So ya, what was the question again?

Exactly.

Really, though, there is no other significance to starting the countdown on February 5th. Truly. Honestly.

Okay, so maybe there is. Rumor has it that some chick is trying to pull off the same thing, and she started her quest today, too. Well, I am here to say that's malarkey! True malarkey! Nobody steals my idea and runs with it like that!

Well, fine - this wasn't my idea. Not at all. But, you see, this woman that came up with the idea is doing such a piss-poor job with something that could really be great, so I've decided to steal it from her. And it's not so much stealing it - well, yes. It's totally stealing the idea. And one-upping her. I only have 89, whereas she has 90. After my day 89, her day 90 will be old news. That's what happens when you take an idea and half-ass it.

Who knows, maybe this will actually inspire the girl to kick it into gear.


I hope so.

So, there you have it. That's why, and that's that.